I'm feeling very contemplative

Dogs are genuine and honest.  They will never lie to you and are always clear in what they say (as long as you speak their language).  They always tell you when they're happy or frustrated or sad, and they never pretend to be one while feeling another.  And dogs will not put up with your company if they're not interested in it. Many dogs I've interacted with have had a lasting effect on my life.  Some I only spent a few minutes with.  Some I spent hours with over the course of several weeks at the shelter.  Some I lived (or live) with and/or cared for.

It should be no surprised that it is much easier for me to relate to dogs than to other people.  I am not a people person - I never have been.   I have a hard time knowing who to trust and difficulty interpreting social signals.  Social situations - especially where I don't know (m)any people - fill me with anxiety and are exhausting.

Socializing with people to me often feels like I'm encroaching on other's lives, instead of being invited.  Like I'm invited to the party only because I overheard the popular kids talking about it, and inviting me was only polite.  I'm sure there are many reasons for those feelings that could fill an entire 10 page essay, but what I really wanted to say today is that those feelings are starting to change.   

The people who have entered my life in the past couple of years are really exceptional people, and we even if we're not bosom buddies, we have lots of things in common.  But just as I was starting to feel less like an outsider, I realize that almost all of the all of the smart, talented, ambitious people I know also know each other, and have for years.  It is one of the down sides to not having grown up in the city, for sure, and I'm finding it kind of intimidating.

Additionally, while most of the other people in my graduate program are starting to defend, my defense is at least six months away.  It seems like everything in my life right now is cooperating to give me a wicked case of Impostor Syndrome, and I just generally feel like I am not as smart or accomplished as those around me... like I'm not worthy of their time or ideas.  The worst part is that even though I feel this way, I know rationally that I am.  You don't get into graduate school, get published, get offered jobs without it.  

This past weekend my husband and I hosted a potluck American Thanksgiving for our friends.  It was well attended, but not crowded, and consisted of an interesting blend of people, many of whom did not know each other.  We ate excellent food and played games and generally enjoyed each other's company, and it really made me appreciative of the people that I have in my life.  Even though I often feel inadequate around them, whether they know it or not, they're constantly inspiring me to be a better version of myself, which makes me incredibly thankful to have them in my life.  And just the sheer number of people in my life that inspire me that way makes me feel incredibly grateful and I hope I'll continue to be able to share ideas with them for many years to come.

Happy New Year!

It's that time of year again when everyone sets unrealistic goals that result in us being completely discouraged and eventually giving up, only to try again next January.  Statistically, you won't slim down to your high school weight (sorry), nor will you only eat fruits and vegetables, go jogging five days a week, be more productive at work, quit smoking cold turkey, or whatever it is you've promised yourself you're going to accomplish this year.  Not because you don't want it enough, but simply because our goals and expectations far outstrip our real-world capabilities.  In dog training, this is usually referred to as setting the dog up to fail.  The idea is simple... if you do everything in your power to ensure that the dog actually knows what you want and is capable of doing it, the dog will be more likely to succeed.  Duh.  The same principle is used in all aspects of dog training, although how they are applied may be different.  Teaching a dog to sit, you use luring to get the dog into the position you want.  Resource guarding, you start small - give the dog something very low value, not worth much to the dog, and give him a super duper awesome reward for deciding to give it to you.

So, my wish for you all is that you set yourselves up to succeed at whatever it is you want to accomplish this year.  Keep your goals realistic, and realize that it might take a lot of smaller steps before you run the whole marathon.

As for me... I'm focusing on system-based things this year, rather than results-driven goals, and they say that you're more likely to stick to your resolutions if you share them, so here are mine:

1.  Be more consistent with Snowball's training, especially his reactivity.  2013 was alternately an awesome year and a terrible one - by July, his leash-reactivity was almost completely eliminated.  Then he went to stay with the in-laws while we renovated, and then at the kennel while we were away getting married, and it didn't get worked on regularly for months, and now he's almost back where he started.  Eliminating his reactivity for good will happen when it happens (and it may never happen) - I don't have 100% control over that.  What I do have control over is how often and how much effort I put into working on it.

2.  Work on becoming a  better communicator, both with dogs, and with people.

3.  Drink more water.  Specifically, drink a glass of water first thing in the morning and right before bed every day.

4.  Get at least 30 mins of exercise most days of the week.  (Note to future me: This does not mean that going to the gym for 60 minutes one day counts as the amount for 2 days!)  Thankfully having a dog makes this one easy.

5.  Bake more bread, so that I can get better at it.  Just like dogs, experience is the best teacher.

6.  Spend more time with Snowball.  Specifically, I want to take a beginner agility class, and I plan on going to the off-leash park every chance I get.  With no more courses to take for my degree, there are no excuses!

What are some of your resolutions/goals for the year?